Maybe ‘tantrum’ isn’t the right word – it’s got such negative connotations as if every single tantrum a child has is a concious attempt to manipulate. But most tantrums aren’t that at all. Most of the time, tantrums are the result of a child whose physical or
emotional world is, in that moment, crashing down around them and they simply can’t cope with it.
Sometimes the cause is nearly impossible for us parents to work out, and sometimes we are absolutely certain that we know what the answer is, and yet it doesn’t work. I find in these situations that the real, underlying cause for the tantrum becomes apparent later on when the high emotions of both child and parent have receded a little.
So I have decided to devise a ‘tantrum check list’, which is very purposely in the ’2-8 year old’ section, because, much as we like to use the phrase ‘terrible twos’, I think we all know of a child, if not have one of our own, who still struggles with the stress of tantrums from time to time even when they’re well past That Stage!
I’ve gathered all the links into one place, so hopefully it’ll become a useful resource that parents (myself included!) can run through in their heads when they realise that the slight loss of temper has become rather a lot more than they expected it to. Each link takes you to the post which explains it all in more detail, with a little bit of science and some hints and tips thrown in. At the bottom are links to other posts I’ve written about tantrums.
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You missed one :-)
8) Could your toddler actually have a point and you are the one that needs to adapt?
Haha! Yes, you’re probably very right – will aim to write it soon!