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When my baby daughter arrived I couldn’t wait to introduce some pink to the house. Her two older brothers had made the house very boyish. I bought some pink outfits and pink toys and then the novelty quickly wore off.
I realised soon enough that my baby daughter didn’t care what she wore or played with, she was just a little person like her brothers. And as time has gone by I want to make sure I bring up my three children the same way. I don’t want to treat my sons or my daughter any differently to each other just because they’re boys and a girl.
Which is why children’s toys and clothes baffle me slightly. I’m amazed at the huge gender differentiation. I know boys and girls are different, it would be stupid to argue otherwise. But do they have to be completely different?
I was asked to give feedback on a television ad campaign for a popular toy recently. “Great advert,” I said, “But why can’t girls play with it too?” I couldn’t see why only boys should be seen to play with the toy which was being advertised. As a girl I would have loved to play with it.
And this is common with most toy advertising. There are toys for boys and toys for girls, with the exception of the occasional board game. You may think that’s been the case for a long time and there’s nothing wrong with it. But along with the prolific advertising these days comes the values we’re instilling in children.
Television advertising for boys is often high octane and macho. It’s usually based on conflict, competition or shooting things. Adverts for girls mainly focus on their creative and nurturing side. But why can’t boys be creative and nurturing? And why can’t girls be competitive or shoot things? Listen to the voiceovers on the two types of adverts and you’ll realise that toy companies are talking to boys and girls in completely different ways.
I don’t speak to my children at home differently, I like to keep everything as consistent as possible with allowances for age and personality. I accept there are big differences between boys and girls but I don’t see why toys, clothes and advertising should widen the gap any further. In their own homes girls will play with their brothers’ toys and boys will play with their sisters’ things. Sometimes they don’t like to admit it and that’s a shame in itself. Maybe the result of toy companies telling them what they ‘should’ play with.
Maybe we don’t need to worry about the long-term effects of this gender specific marketing we see these days. After all men will be men and women will be women. But in an age where we’re striving to achieve equality can it help that the media is encouraging us to raise boys and girls with such different values?
It’s the parents’ decision how we bring up our children and how we treat our sons and daughters. And as parents we can limit the exposure our children have to the aggressive marketing of boys and girls toys. But as our children get older we have less control over what they see and marketing techniques are becoming ever more sophisticated.
Is gender specific marketing from such a young age something to worry about? I don’t know. But I do know it makes me uncomfortable.
Emily Organ is a freelance writer and mum of three who blogs at Babyrambles and runs the parenting site Real Parenting.
What are your experiences and opinions of gender differences in toys and clothes?
Exposing your children to all that advertising is probably a bad thing PERIOD. We simple IGNORE the gender targeting when we go into a toy shop and dd has a very eclectic mix of ‘girls toys’ and ‘boys toys’.
Yes, we do that too. Unfortunately, my children, who don’t watch much commercial tv, are still drawn to the pink stuff :-/
My boys dont watch children adverts. They watch kids tv on oilseed or DVD so no adverts. Most of the toys advertised are such poor quality and not really made to last or provide much imaginative play.
That’s another good way of avoiding it – thanks for the tip :)
It is very difficult to limit the influence that marketing has over our children. Unless we don’t allow them to watch TV. And don’t allow them into shops.
We lived in Germany before moving to Switzerland and I found that the toys were less gender dominated. Plastic kitchens and household items tended to be bright primary colours. Have a look at the UK ELC website – why do they have a blue toaster, and a pink one? Why is the tea set pink, but the coffee machine blue?
It really is, isn’t it? And books! And the gifts other people give them…and what their friends wear and play with.
This drives me mad! I think it is quite a recent (last 30 years) phenomenon. And I think it is the same with children’s clothes, especially for babies. A long time ago everything used to be unisex. Then some clever soul figured out that if you make ‘boys stuff’ and ‘girls stuff’ then you can sell twice as much! For my little girl I am trying to make sure she has a balance…some pink and girly stuff, some blue stuff, and some unisex stuff. This is also because I don’t want to have to re-buy everything should the next one be a boy! When she is older she may decide that she is a girly girl and everything has to be pink (aargh) but I’ll let her make that decision for herself, rather than the toy/clothes manufacturers.
Thanks for your comment Zoe. It’s very difficult to do, though, unfortunately – so frustrating.
My 2 boys are not effected much by the colour of girls and boys. The youngest favourate colour has been pink and blue for a long time. We don’t shop in toy store much so we purchase toys online and quality vintage shops where we look for classic toys. They have cars, construction toys of all kinds plus dolls too. If I had a girl I would be sick that all girl toys are link. But the manufacteuers are only offering what their customers want. If they are any other colour then they don’t sell much.
Girls have less options as their clothes and toys are all pink and nothing else! I like seeing girls other colours for a change.
Buying online is a good tip, Susan. Do you find there is more desire for ‘boy stuff’ once they go to school?